Saturday, August 31, 2019

The Jackson Family's Top 142 Songs Ranked (Disc Six)




Don't think of the scores as a grading system, e.g. 7/10 = 70% = C-. Here, 70% means that the song is better than 70% of all other possible music. And don't @ me. There's a lot of awful music; I've written over 300 songs.

42. Janet Jackson, "When We Ooo" (2001) 8.49/10
She really really . . . really likes sex.


41. Janet Jackson, "Can’t B Good" (2008) 8.49/10
Ne-Yo wrote it. People online think it's Mike singing.

40. Michael Jackson, "Girlfriend" (1979) 8.49/10
When it's so good you gotta let ya lover's lover know.


39 . Michael Jackson, "Smile" (1995), "Heaven Can Wait" (2001) 8.49/10 
The first and only true tie. I forgot both of these--Mike's favorite song and your new favorite song.




38. Michael Jackson, "Butterflies" (2001) 8.49/10
Chart topping in his mid-forties.


37. Michael Jackson, "You Rock My World" (2001) 8.49/10
See: above. And also, so Michael really wanted to be a gangster huh?


36. Michael Jackson, "Childhood" (1995) 8.49/10
"Before you judge [us], try hard to love [us]"

35. Michael Jackson, "In the Closet" (1991) 8.49/10
Ummm so the woman's voice here is PRINCESS Stephanie of Monaco . . . .

34. Janet Jackson, "Someone to Call My Lover" (2001) 8.49/10
Maybe we'll meet at a bar
He'll drive a funky car
Maybe we'll meet at a club
And fall so deeply in love
He'll tell me I'm the one
And we'll have so much fun
I'll be the girl of his dreams maybe


33. The Jackson 5, "ABC" 8.5/10
. . . and they never looked back.


32. Michael Jackson, "Man in the Mirror" (1987) 8.5/10
His most important song.


31. Janet Jackson, "Love Will Never Do" (1989) 8.5/10
People say she surpassed Michael. They're wrong, but I accept the argument.


30. Janet Jackson, "You Want This" (1993) 8.5/10
M. C. LYTE


29. Michael Jackson, "Ben" (1972) 8.51/10

2:01 to the end is the most beautiful thing you've ever heard.


28. Michael Jackson, "Bad" (1987) 8.51/10
If you haven't seen this in 30 years, STOP what you're doing NOW. "You ain't bad; you ain't nothing!"


27. Michael Jackson, "Lady in My Life" (1982) 8.51/10
Hey lover, this is more than a crush.

26. The Jackson 5, "I Want You Back" (1969) 8.52/10
Like 1970, on Ed Sullivan, always.


25. Janet Jackson, "Because of Love" (1993) 8.53/10
"Because of love we'll never part."

24. Janet Jackson, "That’s the Way" (1993) 8.55/10
The single that said that the last half of the 80s was not a fluke. Thank God her friend snatched that tape.

23. Janet Jackson, "Where Are You Now" (1993) 8.59/10
"love, my love
I regret the day you went away
I was too young to understand my
love
but now I realize my mistakes
where, where are you now
now that I'm ready to
ready to love you the way you
loved me then
where are you now
do you still think of me
or does your heart belong to
someone else's
love, oh my love
wonder sometimes were you just a
dream
I sit in the dark
wondering if our paths
will ever cross again
oh lord I need to know
I sit and wonder
where, where are you now
now that I'm ready to
ready to love you the way you
loved me then
where are you now
do you still think of me
or does your heart belong to
someone else's
if I close my eyes
and make a wish
when they open will you be right
here with me
where are you now
now that I'm ready to
ready to love you the way you loved me then

could it be
that two people
were meant to be
in my dreams
that's what I feel
or could it be that I'll never see you again
my love that was so true
still I'll sit here waiting all alone
by the phone for you"
Come back to see NUMBER ONE.


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