Rankings: the Theeuhtahr [Updated: 2/22/20]

You love lists and Look to the Cookie doesn't do enough of them. Plus, Germar's life has shifted from music, to film, to . . . stage. And because he sees so many theatrical productions, he will rate and rank them here. Additionally, you're going to click this link because you want to know where your production ranks. This list does not include grade school or "junior" productions.

And remember, a score of 5.5 does not equal 55% or failure. It means that the show was better than 55% of all shows.

22. The Wizard of Oz (2013, Southern Arizona) 7.2/10 Monkeys flew, witches melted--an all-around technical achievement. But it was also three hours long and you know how it ends.

21. It's a Wonderful Life (2018, East Central Indiana) 7.2/10 The leads dazzled. But you really have to love this era of storytelling, to love this show, in 2018.

20. Willy Wonka (2019, East Central Indiana) 7.2/10 It's always all about the Oompa Loompas! It was Wonka . . . wacky and colorful and kid-friendly.

19. Mamma Mia (2019, Michiana) 7.3/10 This Sophie SANGS. Beautiful cast. The director and choreographer put professional stamps all over this thing.

18. Tarzan (2019, East Central Indiana) 7.3/10 They used a real baby! They swung on vines and climbed trees. Go-ril-las stole the show. 

17. Scrooge: The Musical (2017, East Central Indiana) 7.4/10 Classic and timeless tale, done by a big diverse cast. Costumed fun.

16. Into the Woods (2019, Central Indiana) 7.4/10 Talented cast. The set designers and builders optimized, and creatively utilized, a tight space.

15. The Music Man (2019, Michiana) 7.5/10 The best ensemble performance ever. 

14. West Side Story (2018, East Central Indiana) 7.5/10 Every time Maria was on stage was the best thing you've seen on a stage. Rosalia . . . Anita . . . . Tony.

13. Now and Then (2019, Michiana) 7.6/10 Casual and modern. And by the end of the show, it's life-changing.

12. Cinderella (2018, Tour) 7.6/10 Beautiful set, world-class dancing, but no soul.

11. The Little Mermaid (2018, East Central Indiana) 7.6/10 Ariel nailed it. And the magic of the sea was felt throughout the performance.

10. Big River (2019, East Central Indiana) 7.7/10 I can't decide if the show is a story about:   1) two cons on the run; 2) crazy Tom Sawyer; or most likely 3) a love story between a white boy with a heart of gold and a runaway slave. Five outstanding performances made this a tough call.

9. First Date (2020, Michiana)  7.7/10 A show for people, born after 1984, who would rather see a movie than a play. A home run from the director.

8. Of Mice and Men (2019, East Central Indiana) 7.7/10 Tough tough show, made better and worse by excellent performances.    

7. Animal Farm (2012, Southern Arizona) 7.9/10 Beautiful, moving, and important. When those pigs started walking around in their overalls, you couldn't help but feel the hopelessness of the cycle. 

6. Peter and the Starcatcher (2018, East Central Indiana) 8/10 Odd. And one of the best stagey mcstage plays of all time. And who doesn't love Peter Pan?

5. Sister Act (2019, East Central Indiana) 8.5/10 F.U.N. Also, it's sexy (or it could be), funny, and colorful. Everyone in the cast got a chance to shine.

4. My Fair Lady (2017, East Central Indiana) 9/10 The perfect Eliza. Perfect direction.

3. Rock of Ages (2018, East Central Indiana) 9.3/10 If you like the 80s, or listen to the same 10 songs on some wack work FM stations, you'll love this. Plus, it's sexy and makes no sense.

2. Annie (2018, East Central Indiana)  9.5/10 THIS is cheating. Cute little girls, performing classic choreography, to Jay Z's most popular song.

1. Beauty and the Beast (2019, Farmland Indiana) 9.6/10 Everyone sang everything like Whitney sang The Star-Spangled Banner. Plus, they DANCED--DANCING in a show, in Indiana!!! I guess when you collect a check, you get the steps right.

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Indie Music: Zilla With Her Eyes Shut "Whisper Whisper"

by Germar Derron

This is in common time right? And also the common tongue (English)? But it doesn't feel that way. And yet, it also doesn't feel contrived. I need more--a larger sample size.

Supposedly, this fits under the ever-growing "Pop" umbrella (surreal or avant-garde). That argument must lean heavily on the . . . chorus, "whisper, whisper something." But that line--which could be the foundation of a most singable hook--refuses to linger long enough to allow the listener to get comfortable.

This song sounds like the feeling of watching Ari Aster's, Midsommar for the first time. Everyone expects a thing, but then receives another. Then, once you get a feel for this thing, and prepare for the logical right turn, the roller coaster jerks to the left, and suddenly stops upside down and underwater, before falling into a tall glass of quicksand. Was any of it real?

There's an incessant drone that could be a siren, or more aptly a warning. It's reminiscent of our current fascination with all things "dance" (especially the party/club scene). But overall, Zilla should remind you of . . . music--all. the. music.

The classical training is apparent from the first few bars. And beyond the kingdom of music major geekiness, exists a quaint village of strange storytellers, and splatter art. Last and not least, the vocals are sugary, light, and better than you might expect.

I end as I began; I need more. Like you, I'll just have to wait for the full album release on March 13th.

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Parasite, Birds of Prey, and Stephen King

In Episode 520, Germar promises that he can pronounce "emancipation" and other words. But it's a D.S.E. so don't blame G, blame it on the . . . .

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Rankings: the DC Extended Universe [Updated 2/9/20]

You love lists and Look to the Cookie doesn't do nearly enough of them. So here are the rankings and reasons for the eight released DC Extended Universe films as determined by every African-American staff member at LTC.

8. Suicide Squad 3.8/10 Suicide Squad and Fantastic Four (2015) share the dubious distinction as the only modern superhero films that I have not watched a second time (now includes, oddly, Black Panther). Suicide Squad wins the award for the Best Trailer-Worst Movie combo. I've rarely cared so little for characters or a story. In case you forgot: 1) civilians became putties from Power Rangers; 2) the mission/B villain was Waller; 3) the actual villains were a temporary team member and weird guy you forgot; 4) someone important died immediately; 5) only the marquee names mattered--Robbie, Smith, Leto, Davis--the other 18,000 cast members became background; 6) except for Diablo who could have been cool, if the filmmakers knew anything about storytelling or character development. This movie sucked.

7. Birds of Prey 5.3/10 The world's first big budget woman-powered 80s-action movie got released in 2020. And it would have been cool if they leaned into the ridiculous cheesiness of this thing. But if felt like they took themselves seriously. They also apparently live in the same world, universe, DCEU as Superman, Batman, Shazam . . . . It doesn't feel like these movies, characters, and actors could share an egg sandwich, much less a planet. I don't know how DC Films can look at Marvel Studios stuff and keep cranking out crap. 

6. Shazam! 5.4/10 Arya Stark is super cute in this, and perfect in the role. But whycome a really mature 14-year-old would magic into a 30-year-old with the mind of a 10-year-old? For all of the color, and humor, and action, it's kind of obvious and snooze-festy. Maybe Disney should make DC movies.

5. Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice 5.5/10 The longer cut is better. Basically, they attempted to make an intelligent, dark, and gritty film and failed. You never attempt to do a thing. You're intelligent or you're not. You can't feign intelligence, you'll look like a fool, i.e. this film.

4. Aquaman 5.9/10 It was fun, but lacked heart and soul. They got so much right--BLACK MANTA, Ocean Master, the visuals and use of tech/science and magic. And after all of that, I could've had a V8.

3. Wonder Woman 6.5/10 PERFECTION right through the complete obliteration of that long-held German line. Beyond that, the film fizzles. Steve Trevors' motley crew didn't humor, scare, endear, or anything. And Steve dulled much of Diana's shine. Aries did not impress, in appearance, performance, or overall villainy. Wonder Woman, and all of Themyscira, saved what was otherwise a mediocre film.

2. Justice League 6.9/10 I don't get the hate. I somewhat loved this film. Like Thor 2: The Dark World, my only complaint is that it's too short. There's too much to get done in such a small amount of time. But considering the limitations provided, they got EVERYTHING right. EVERYTHING. (maybe I didn't like blaxploitation Aquaman, but everything else)

1. Man of Steel 8/10 Here's the deal, you want your Superman to be a corny-ass Boy Scout. I guess I have to respect that. But I think I like the DCEU Superman because he relays that a person that isn't perfect, that makes mistakes, that gets angry, that looks a little rough, can still be a hero. This is me as Superman. It's every minority, most women, people with disabilities, people with criminal records, people who made a mistake--we still have value. We too can still save the world.

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Facebook is for Stupid People

In Episode 518 (it's 518, even though Germar says 517), Germar realizes why most Facebook "debates" are an absolute waste of time. NSFW. Follow him everywhere PLEASE @GermarDerron.

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The Good Place

In Episode 519, Germar returns to his roots. This one is about life and death, through the lens of a great series finale (with limited spoilers). Follow Germar everywhere @GermarDerron.

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Story Time with Germar: Drugs are Bad

In Episode 517, Germar died. It's a tale as old as time: boy meets girl, girl gives boy drugs, boy stops breathing. Follow Germar everywhere @GermarDerron. Oh, and check out the movie (trailer) about the story.

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Joe Rogan is Wrong

In Episode 514, Germar does what Joe Rogan doesn't allow anyone to do; he rebuts Joe Rogan. But first, he tags on to the previous podcast about . . . differences. Follow Germar everywhere PLEASE @GermarDerron.

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Oscars So White 2020 and So is Our Next President

Episode 513 is a doozy. Initially, the car recording and mic sitch goes really bad. But then, days later, Germar comes back with better thoughts and a better mic and adds that to the TOP of the show. Plus, he decides to play a long clip from the world's best movie, Hollywood Shuffle (NSFW). As always, he's right. He doesn't really discuss those awful films you loved. Check that out here and here. Follow him everywhere @GermarDerron.

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My Time With . . . "You"

is You good

to you

you? just did it

I think I like it because it reminds me of Dexter but I'm not into the 2nd season.

I purposely avoided watching and discussing this show because I know . . . you . . . like it. But I thought it was cheesy, obvious, and annoying. It reminded me of Pretty Little Liars because it's absolutely ridiculous and casually smart in a way that a younger person might find intellectual and thought provoking.

So, no podcast. No think-piece. These are my in-the-moment messages to my bestie and some of her responses. Mostly, I used this show like Benadryl. When I couldn't sleep, I pressed play and would doze in minutes. It has it's ups, but overall it's a thumbs down. 

Kayla just said the 2d season is way better

I hate his narration

I hate how white it is

I hate how super "now" it is

how much "this is today's world" can they put into every sentence?

A lot

and they talk about how hot he is and sexy

he's not

he's an awkward nerdy white dude

He's creepy

white people are so . . .

wrong

Lol

and the girl is annoying

and so basic to be obsessed over [I know that's not how this works; I know the things]

Yeah she is

still not done with pilot - You

Approach it like a comedy or a cheesy thriller where you tell at the characters for being stupid and dumb...makes it better. In my opinion.

*yell

yeah I don't do that

I'm just assuming I'll be hooked after 5 epi

but I just finished it

I couldn't even finish Witcher [pilot]

he's definitely no Dexter

Lol no

and the amount of meta is irritating

he's always referencing himself/the show

yeah You is awful I'm mad at the world

think I finally gave up on You

there's something there, but it's a sh1tty show

moved on to Messiah

Oh I thought about watching that

Tell me if you like it

so far so good

hot

fire

Messiah?

lava

last half of Messiah not that interesting and of course we dunno for sure whether or not he's the Messiah

2d season ssssuckksss. wack ass Dexter

weather's been nice here - temp I mean

you didn't watch PLL but this bullsh1t is so PLL

she just said Dexter

you're some brand of Dexter

I called it. I was yelling NANNY CAM B1TCH

the kidnap hotel bullsh1t

wth is this show

it is so PLL

I knew he dosed him too

duuhhhh

Lol.

Look at you yelling at the tv at all the dumb sh1t they do.

ur welcome

I THOUGHT it was a joke but did you see the white house lie about snow?

this ni66a is casually face timing the dude he imprisoned and tortured and talking about his murders

on Al Gore's internet too

1

maybe

joe trapped in a cage sh!t so boring I've decided to finally go to work

peace!

not surprised by the Love twist at all

like at all

but I think it's really stupid

this is SO PLL

yo I slept my ass off through some of You

it was only half an episode

but I woke up and it looks like 40 is in jail and Joe is free

Love is a cop

iono what the hell happened in those 20 minutes

REWIND

Lol

oh he's talking to the therapist! I think

I do not remember

yeah I'm watching it now

well it's playing

I do a lot of letting it play while I do other things actually

40 figured it out!

damn I must've slept through that

I liked him but now he has to die - shoot

I guess I can root for him but it's not his story

Dexter even had a crazy killer gf season 2

they're trolling

Yes he did

and that's when black dude figured it out

and they locked him up and she killed him

if Love killed 40 that's crazy

but she kinda has to because she's so attached to him

but then she created that monster

iono

for someone who barely watches I could write a damn good essay

Lol

oh I think this is it

this is the final epi

yeah I don't like this

teenagers wrote this

it's excruciating

I'd rather talk about it then watch it

Dexterish in that 7 serial killers in the country

2 of them meet and fall in love in LA

all these cage scenes are painful

I just want it to end

Lol

"'Love' makes you do some crazy shit."

f0ck this shoooowwww

Joe crazy as hell and I read every day about how people like him - think he's hot - sees his side

fml

wish I had people that I could have done a real time show with. I have a great concept.

why are they so rich? because of that one smelly grocery store?

oh and powerful

they dragged out the 40 scene too long - it was real obvi where it was going

I might collect everything I've written to . . . you and collect it in a "piece" on "You"

in the end, the hero found . . . "Love"

Love and 40s parents are rich because...I'm not sure they gave a reason why they're so loaded.

but and powerful

these would be just regular LA people

like they couldn't influence cops and sh!t

Old money inherited from generations?

well they're white

and kinda act like it

So there you go

Boom

but they made LA seem like some small town in the south, like Savannah

that's not how this works at all

Lol

Asking too many questions. You're supposed to just watch, enjoy and take everything at face value.

oh you're supposed to enjoy

Yes while bring frustrated and it's idiocy

At

All the sighs and eye rolls and yelling...that equals joy

nah

making jokes to you

like Benadryl was fun

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