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Monday, May 30, 2016

Types of Guys You'll Meet Before Finding the One

Welcome Cecily Jamelia to the LTC family! Cecily's vlog will be posted here and she and Germar may be teaming up for some awesome content. Below you can see her video that prompted a response from Germar.

Game of Thrones: Blood of My Blood

by Melissa Parkin

Old faces return, new alliances are forged, and many people are not particularly happy.

Picking up from last week, Meera drags Bran’s body through forest lands while he’s still trapped in a vision. Bran experiences flashbacks, only to wake up at the last moment when the army of the dead draws near. Exhausted and unable to fend them off, Meera tearfully apologizes to Bran as the reanimated corpses come for them. Swarms descend on all sides. Just as the Wights prepare to strike, a masked man crashes the party and demolishes the creatures with a flaming flail. Following the onslaught, the stranger insists Meera and Bran come with him to escape the dead. With no other alternative, Meera agrees and the rider hauls Bran’s body up onto his horse as the girl climbs on the rear.

Once they’ve gained enough ground, the three stop to regroup. Meera asks the rider why he bothered to come to their aid, in which he says that the Raven sent for him. The stranger also mentions that he hasn’t seen Bran since he was just a boy. He pulls back his hood and mask, revealing himself to be Benjen Stark. And dear old uncle B has seen better days. His face is deathly pale and showing signs of decay. Apparently, he’d been turned into a White Walker, but the Children of the Forest used dragonglass to halt the transformation.  
Gilly escorts Sam back to his home in Horn Hill. Considering his father’s cruelty and the fact that he hates Wildlings, Sam cannot stress enough to Gilly that she not mention her heritage. Also, she must say that he is the father of baby Sam. It’s the only way they’ll receive Randyll Tarly’s hospitality. When the pair arrives at the family estate, Sam’s mother and sister welcome them with open arms. Sadly, dinner doesn’t go so well after his father returns from a hunting trip. Randyll pulls no punches as he expresses his grave disappointment in his son. Gilly interrupts him however, telling the Tarlys all about Sam’s accomplishments, including how he killed a White Walker on their way south to the Wall. 

Sam’s brother laughs, since few believe the Walkers still exist, but Randyll outright explodes as he realizes that Gilly is in fact a Wildling. He points to the Tarly sword above the fireplace, declaring that he will never pass it down to his first born, as Sam is undeserving of the precious Valyrian steel. Randyll tells his son that Gilly can stay at Horn Hill on the condition that she work in the kitchen. As for Sam, this will be the last night he ever stays at the family estate. Sam apologizes to Gilly soon after and says his goodbyes to her, only to return a few minutes later. He tells her that they’re all leaving, since she and little Sam are his family. He takes his father’s sword as a parting gift, saying that if Randyll really wants it that badly, he can "bloody well try" to get it back.
Tommen goes to visit the High Sparrow, wishing to speak with Margaery. The Sparrow assures the king that the common people will be much gentler to the queen than they were to Cersei during her impending Walk of Atonement. He even grants Tommen the chance to visit with Margaery, who supports the Sparrow’s promise. She’s ready to repent for her sins, telling Tommen that the High Sparrow has touched her in ways she never thought possible. It seems the man has affected them both…

Jaimie Lannister and Mace Tyrell join forces to lead their army into King’s Landing, hoping to stop Margaery’s Walk. Upon reaching the Sept, Jaimie orders the Sparrow to return Margaery and her brother. The Sparrow seems amused by the attempt, shooing the Tyrell army away as they don’t have the authority to make such demands. Just when things look like they can’t get any worse, the High Sparrow informs the crowd that Margaery won’t be making her Walk, as she’s already atoned by bringing someone else into the true light of the Seven. The Kingsguard emerges from the Sept . . . with Tommen in the lead.

The Sparrow declares this to be a new age of harmony between faith and the Crown. Tommen returns to the Iron Throne, stripping Jaimie of his title as Lord Commander to the Kingsguard. His father/uncle tries to reason with the boy, but Tommen demands that it’s necessary to restore the Seven Kingdoms to its former glory. As consequence, Jaimie is sent away from King’s Landing.

Arya continues scouting the acting troupe, trying to find a way to get backstage so that she can poison Lady Crane’s rum. She’s more than impressed by Crane as the Lady plays Cersei in a reenactment of Joffrey’s death. Nevertheless, Arya sneaks into the actors’ dressing area and poisons the rum. It’s obvious that Crane’s understudy wants the woman out of the picture. Arya has an attack of conscience and smacks the rum from Crane’s hand before she can drink it, letting the Lady know that her fellow actress wishes her dead. 
The Waif overhears the exchange, returning to the House to inform Jaqen H'ghar of Arya’s failure. He merely tells her to not let Arya suffer. Meanwhile, Stark goes to recover her trusted sword, Needle, before taking refuge in a dark underground crypt.

Grouchy old Walder Frey is beyond outraged after learning that his sons managed to lose Riverrun. He demands that they return and reclaim the land, but the men inform him that it’s impossible due to the fact that Blackfish has gained some powerful allies in the region. Unfazed by the news, Frey reminds his sons of the Red Wedding, telling them to take a special visitor back to Riverrun. An imprisoned Edmure Tully.
As for Daenerys, she and Daario lead the Dothraki back to Meereen when something catches the Khaleesi's eye. She rides off to investigate it, leaving Daario to come after her when she doesn’t return. Just as he sets off, a large shadow casts overhead. Sure enough, Drogon lands in front of the Dothraki—toting Dany on his scaly back. The Mother of Dragons gives a rousing speech, asking the men to follow her to Westeros. After seeing her already walk through fire, was there any real doubt about their response?

Monday, May 23, 2016

Game of Thrones: The Door


by Melissa Parkin

Grab some tissues and cover your eyes, because all of your tears and fears hit hard in “The Door.”

Sansa receives a message from Littlefinger who requests to meet with her. As per usual, he comes to her armed with an elegant speech, but she’s now smart to his trickery. When he tries to convince her that he means well, Sansa tells him that he’s either an idiot or her enemy for handing her over to Ramsay. She then threatens to have Brienne cut him down on sight, but decides to send him back off to Vale. He just so happens to give her one last parting gift, informing her that her uncle, Brendan Stark, has retaken Riverrun with strengthened forces. When Sansa returns to the Wall, Jon, Edd, Davos, Melisandre, and Brienne discuss possible strategies. With the North’s loyalty to the Stark name, Sansa believes that she and Jon can gain the allegiances of smaller houses. She mentions Brendan’s recent victory in Riverrun, but lies about how she received the intel.

At the Kingsmoot ceremony, Yara makes her pledge for Queen of the Iron Islands. The crowd shows initial skepticism, as Theon—being Balon’s remaining male heir—seems like the obvious choice for the throne. Theon addresses the issue, rallying the men together in Yara’s favor by declaring his sister to be the “rightful ruler.” Just when everything seems all fine and dandy, dear old Uncle Euron Greyjoy crashes the festivities and claims he’s the man for the job. Yara, wise to his ways, accuses him of murdering her father. Euron proves to be an honest man, albeit a bit loony, because he outright admits to it. He sells the men on the notion that he’ll build up the Iron Fleet and join forces with Daenerys to reclaim the Seven Kingdoms. Once the crowd starts chanting his name, Yara and Theon know they’ve lost their claim. As their uncle undergoes the baptism ritual, the siblings gather their loyal followers and commandeer the Iron Islands' best ships and set sail. Good thing too, because as all good GOT uncles do, Euron wishes to murder them. So…
Meanwhile, during the ongoing training sessions, The Waif declares to Arya that, “You’ll never be one of us, Lady Stark.” Jaqen agrees, as none of the previous Faceless Men came from royal blood. He tasks Arya with the mission to poison Lady Crane, an actress of a traveling comedic troupe. She goes to see one of her performances, laughing at the play that’s mocking the Lannister family. The amusement dies however when they make light of Ned Stark’s beheading. Arya goes backstage to observe the actress playing Cersei, noting she is the only one of the troupe who likes rum. She returns to Jaquen, informing him of the plan to poison her drink. Her curiosity gets the better of her, as she inquires to know who wishes Crane dead. “A servant does not ask questions,” declares Jaquen.

Daenerys is at a loss of what to do with Jorah, as he has yet again saved her life. “I can't take you back, and I can't send you away.” “You must send me away,” he informs her, revealing his infected arm. Dany’s hardened exterior immediately vanishes, as she tearily apologizes. He won’t have it, as all he’s ever wanted to do was serve her. “Tyrion Lannister was right… I love you. I’ll always love you.” He bids Dany goodbye, but she refuses to let him go. “I command you to heal yourself and then return to me,” she cries. “When I take the Seven Kingdoms, I need you by my side.”
In another vision, Bran witnesses the first White Walker being made by the Children of the Forest—who now in fact reside with the Three-Eyed Raven. Unable to resist his curiosity, Bran enters into another vision while the Raven sleeps. He finds himself standing before a frozen weirwood tree. Turning around, Bran then sees an entire army of Wights right in the clearing. They remain unaware of his presence as he weasels his way through the crowd, but he quickly realizes something’s wrong when he approaches the Night’s King. The White Walker looks right at him, and Bran sees that all the reanimated corpses have now noticed him. Frightened, he whirls around, suddenly finding the Night’s King standing directly in front of him. 
The Walker snatches his arm, and Bran wakes up screaming. The Raven informs him that the Night’s King has marked him, allowing him to enter the Cave. “The time has come for you to become me.” The White Walkers now know where Bran is, making it only a matter of time before the army of the dead comes to kill him. Meera notices her breath fog and runs to the entrance of the Cave to see the Night’s King and his fellow soldiers approaching. The Children of the Forest do their best to fend off the army as Meera tries to get Bran to warg into Hodor, but he can't since he's trapped in a vision with the Raven.

Bran returns to the past with a young Hodor at Winterfell, but Meera’s desperate cries bellow into the vision. He manages to warg into Hodor and carries his body through the back tunnels with Meera on their heels. The Night’s King invades the Cave, killing the Raven as his army pursues Bran. Just as they manage to get outside, the Dead race after them, hitting the door that Hodor barely manages to hold close. Meera drags Bran’s body away, begging for Hodor to “hold the door,” as he’s the only thing stopping them from getting to Stark. 
Bran watches in the past as Meera’s words echo in the air. The young Hodor stares at Bran and suddenly collapses on the ground, in what looks like a seizure. He starts crying out, “Hold the door! Hold the door! Hold the door, hold the door, hold the door! Ho…dor! Ho…dor!” The Wights manage to break through sections of the door and rip into Hodor bit by bit as he keeps guard, watching Meera and Bran disappear into the wintery storm ahead.



Monday, May 16, 2016

Game of Thrones: Book of the Stranger

by Melissa Parkin

Just as Jon prepares to leave the Wall, visitors arrive at the gate. With Brienne and Podrick at her sides, Sansa rides into Castle Black. Snow and his half-sister stare at one another in silence before they run straight into an embrace. Despite their strained relationship in the past, the two share some much needed laughter later in the evening. Sansa even asks Jon to forgive her for being so “awful” when they were little. Of all the doom and gloom, the two sullenest characters of GoT give us the most lighthearted moment so far in season six. Not sure what that says, but it’s a point worth mentioning. Things take a darker turn when Sansa asserts that they must return to Winterfell and reclaim their home, killing the Boltons in the process. A weary Snow refuses, as he’s tired of fighting. Sansa, in her strongest moment to date, proclaims, “I want you to help me, but I’ll do it myself if I have to.”


Petyr Baelish arrives in the Vale of Arryn, and to no one’s shock, he manipulates his nephew into sending men out to aid Sansa. Back at the Wall, Brienne finds herself as the object of Torumund's affections over dinner when a letter arrives, addressed to Jon from Ramsay. Bolton makes it clear that he wants Sansa back, threating to kill Rickon and storm the Wall as consequence if he fails to agree. Sansa reminds Jon that he’s the last true Warden of the North. Taking this and Rickon’s life into account, Jon finally relents. Seems we’re heading to Winterfell.

Queen Margaery is brought to the High Sparrow. He divulges his moment of enlightenment to the woman before taking her to see her brother. Clearly broken by his imprisonment, Loras weeps in her presence. Margaery wastes no time setting him straight. “If either of us gives in to what they want, then they win.” Meanwhile, her husband warns Cersei not to further antagonize the High Sparrow. So of course, Cersei and Jaimie disrupt a small counsel meeting with Margaery’s grandmother and Kevan Lannister. Olenna is quick to put the twins in their place until Cersei informs her that the High Sparrow plans to make Margaery do the Walk of Atonement. Olenna and the Lannisters call a truce for the time being, agreeing to have the Tyrell armies thwart the attempt. Sure, there will be bloodshed, but it’s a cost everyone in the room is willing to make…so long as none of them come in the line of fire. Because, why would they?

The masters of Slaver’s Bay come to Meereen to speak with Daenerys, only to find Tyrion standing in her place. Despite their detestation for him, the masters are wooed by Tyrion’s offer. He proposes that slavery will continue in the bay for the next seven years, giving the masters time to adjust to the new laws. In return, they will suspend their support for the Sons of Harpy. Grey Worm and Missandei are far from pleased with the tender, knowing the masters view the trio as nothing more than pawns.

Speaking of the Khaleesi, Daario and Jorah arrive in Vaes Dothrak to rescue Daenerys. Knowing that they won’t be able escape the masses of armed men, Dany forms a plan of her own. She goes to meet with the Dothraki leaders, who then debate over what they will do with her. To their surprise, the petite foreigner talks a big game. She declares them all to be incompetent and that she will be the one to rule over the Dothraki. The men laugh at Daenerys . . . until she sets fire to the Dosh Khaleen. They all burn in the blaze, and the Mother of Dragons simply glides out of the building unscathed. The entire city bears witness to the incident, and bows before Daenerys.  

 Can't deny her showmanship.

Friday, May 6, 2016

Rankings: the Marvel Cinematic Universe [UPDATED 5/6/16]

You love lists and Look to the Cookie doesn't do enough of them. So here are the rankings and reasons for the 13 released Marvel Cinematic Universe movies as determined by the entire LTC staff that wears glasses and has dark skin . . . named Germar.

13. Thor  5/10 Thor is the only movie on the list that is absolutely awful. Whenever I hear someone say they liked Thor, I want to punch them in the face very hard. I watched this awful film twice because my ex's sister-in-law convinced the family that it was good. They all hated it. I feel like Thor was the most cartoon-y or comic-y of the movies. If you liked this movie, you're probably a Thor fan, or hardcore comic fan, or you have absolutely terrible taste or you want to feel my fist.



12.  The Incredible Hulk 6.5/10 This film works on just about every level. It ranked poorly solely because the field is stacked. Bringing in the Abomination for a showstopping city-smashing finale was genius. Seeing hints of the Leader was cool. Edward Norton did what he does; he killed it. Some parts drag, but it's about as good as a live-action Hulk film could be outside of The Avengers.

11.  Captain America: The Winter Soldier   6.5/10 Somehow this average flick fooled the world. It wasn't nearly as clever as you think.  It did however make Agents of SHIELD a much better series. The action, especially between Cap and Bucky dwarfs the other non-ensemble films. This rendition of Falcon fits nicely. The Winter Soldier appeared as he might in my dreams and nightmares. Oddly, I enjoyed it more the second time.  Expectations? Hype?

10.  Ant-Man  6.5/10 I found this film to be the least "Marvel-y," which is fine. Because it wasn't a typical Marvel film, it was American film-making 101 and quite predictable. If you like mediocre movies, you will LOVE this. That said, they did pull this off well.

9.  Iron Man 3  7/10 Ughhhhh. I loved the Mandarin thing, but was this really an Iron Man movie? I appreciated the Mandarin ruse because we weren't ready for the actual Mandarin yet.  I understood the stuff with the kid, but really? There were two iron men that rarely got to suit-up. Annnd the weird fire volcano people . . . . Annnnd Pepper became Iron Man and Fire Lady . . . .  Annnnnnd how did this get ranked so highly? Oh, there were lots of suits fighting at the end--that was cool. Although it was wise of the writers, I never bought RDJ's portrayal of PTSD

8.  Iron Man 2  7/10 No one liked this film but me; I understand that. But hey, I have a sense of humor. Drunken Iron Man dancing and fighting, stolen suits, HAMMER and weapon malfunctions, the bird, the Widow . . . c'mon!!! 


7.   Avengers: Age Of Ultron   7/10 Not a good film, but a HUGE film. They attempted to pack too much into one film. Ultron and Spader dominated. Why do Ultron, and later the Vision, exist and how? . . . not that important really. They attempted an attempt at explanations all over this thing. Nothing made sense, but it was a wild and fun ride.



6.  Thor: The Dark World   7.5/10  Yes, I appreciate this film more than most of you, but that's because I get things and stuff. Yes, the bad guy was weak, unimportant, and not memorable, but so what. They took a big cue from The Avengers, and made a film that was fun, funny, action packed, and included a beginning, middle, and end. I only hated that it was so short.

5. Iron Man   8/10  I never understood why you feel so strongly and positively about this film. I re-watched it. It's solid, and really solidly establishes the entire universe. I had far more fun with 2 and maybe even 3, but this is a far superior film.

4. Captain America: The First Avenger   8/10  Surprise motherf*cker! (that's a Dexter reference) Honestly, I can't even get through this now, but I remember what it meant then. I'm not a Captain America fan. This film made me care about him. They poked fun at him. He was a guy and not an Uncle Sam poster (except for when he clearly was, but that wasn't by choice). Most importantly, my female non-nerd friends thought this film was dope and not just because the Human Torch starred in it.

3. Captain America: Civil War 8.5/10 #TeamIronMan all day! This IS actually "Avengers 3: Civil War," but it doesn't lose points for that. Marvel Studios does an unbelievable job of adding characters, combining worlds, and progressing their universe. It's very well balanced. It loses points (and me) in some of the more verbose scenes. The dialogue wasn't too complex, just too much. The conflict was simple and obvious--show us more of that. Spider-man was flawless. Black Panther was more flawless. 

2.    Guardians of the Galaxy  9/10  People that don't include this in their top two also get punched in the face.  80s references "never go over my head" because "there ain't no thing like me but me" whore. The flick's fairly flawless. 


1.  The Avengers   10/10  Nailed it. THIS is what I want to feel every time I pay $50 for popcorn, soda, and Raisinets. What can I say that hasn't been said before? The most balanced movie I've ever seen, if you forget that Hawkeye is also sort of an Avenger. 

Monday, May 2, 2016

Game of Thrones: Home

by Melissa Parkin

Dead fathers, loose dragons, and the undead...oh my!

Bran reenters the pictures as he experiences visions of the past. There, he not only gets to see his brothers (Editor's note: father and uncle?) when they were just boys, but also his Aunt Lyanna and even Hodor…whose actual name is in fact Willis. And he used to talk, you know, more than usual. We don’t get any more insight, but it’s nice to see his storyline return. Meanwhile in King’s Landing, the silent giant in charge of protecting Cersei seems to be taking his job a bit too seriously. When a drunkard parades around town, boasting of Cersei's interest in his "little him," the The Mountain, pulverizes the man’s skull the moment he’s alone.

King Tommen bars his mother from Myrcella’s funeral. Jaimie confronts his son, and Tommen confesses to his cowardice. He’s ashamed to face Cersei, given his inability to stand up for her and his wife when they were both imprisoned. Jaimie assures him that his mother will forgive him, sending him off to make peace with her. Tommen does just that, but once he leaves, the High Sparrow comes to the Sept. He provokes Jaimie, in which the Kingslayer happily obliges with a threat to kill him where he stands. Of all things, the High Sparrow invites it, leaving Jaimie unsettled—particularly by the horde of armed followers that suddenly descends and blockades the chamber. The High Sparrow makes himself inexplicably clear. “We have no names, no family. Every one of us is poor and powerless. And yet together, we can overthrow an empire.” Could he be the puppeteer behind the Harpy perhaps?

Things aren’t looking too good for Daenerys, as the masters of Astapor and Yunkai have retaken their cities, making Meereen Dany’s only lasting accomplishment. Tyrion, Varys, Missandei, and Grey Worm express their concerns over the fate of Daenerys’ dragons, who’ve refused to eat since their mother left. The well versed Lannister informs his fellow councilmen and woman that dragons wither and die in captivity. With this in mind, Varys escorts Tyrion to the catacombs. Dany’s children don’t initially welcome the youngest Lannister. One growls, emitting a small fire bomb in its mouth. Tyrion thankfully manages to talk down the scaly creatures, assuring them he means no harm. He even manages to pet them before removing their shackles. The two dragons recoil back into the darkness, and Tyrion and Varys quickly leave. “Next time I have an idea like that, punch me in the face.”     


The Waif gives Arya her daily beating, but this time the young Stark girl delivers a better fight. Jaqen arrives, tempting Arya with the promise of food, shelter, and restored vision if she gives him her name. “A girl has no name,” she continually answers, and he leads her away.

Up in the north, Theon makes the tough decision to leave Sansa in Brienne’s care and head back home. Sansa assures him that Jon will forgive his crimes, but Theon confesses to not wanting forgiveness. He owns up to every horrible act he committed on her family, saying he would have died to get her to the Wall. The two cry and share a hug before he requests a horse to depart. And the timing may be just perfect, because things aren’t looking so great for the House of Greyjoy. After a disagreement with Yara back in the Iron Islands, Balon storms out of the hall onto a swaying rope bridge where he runs into his presumed-to-be-dead brother, Euron. “You’re in my way,” declares the madman, no sooner pitching Balon off the bridge to his death. Yara, assuming she’ll take her father’s place, swears vengeance on his killer. She’s quickly informed that she’ll have to fight for the title, just like everyone else, if she wishes to rule the Ironborn.

Just in case there was any doubt that Ramsay wasn’t the most despicable character on GOT, we get our assurances tenfold this week alone. Word gets back to Lord Bolton that Sansa escaped the hunters’ clutches. Ramsay suggests they attack Castle Black, where he knows she’ll be heading. His father isn’t the least bit moved by the horrible idea, but the conversation is interrupted when Lord Bolton is informed that Walda has just given birth to a healthy baby boy. Now with a legitimate heir, Roose no longer needs his bastard son. So of course, Ramsay—being Ramsay—gives his father a congratulatory hug…with a dagger. 


He demands the maester inform their allies that Lord Bolton was killed via poison by his enemies. Ramsay continues on his murder spree by summoning Walda. Unaware of her husband’s passing, she brings her newborn to the courtyard to meet with her son-in-law. He directs her to the kennels and locks the door behind them. She asks where Lord Bolton is as Ramsay casually opens several of the dogs’ cages. “I am Lord Bolton,” he replies chillingly. He whistles, commencing the ravenous canines to attack the mother and baby. Ramsay watches the spectacle with indifference as they're ripped apart off-screen among the voracious snarls.  

Say hi to Joffrey 2.0!

Meanwhile, back at Castle Black, Thorne prepares to storm the room holding Davos, his men, and the body of Jon Snow. Just as the door is about to be beaten down, Edd and the Wildlings invade the fort and sentence Thorne and the other traitors to the dungeons. Davos later seeks Melisandre’s council, hoping she possesses the magic to resurrect the late Lord Commander. She professes to have seen a priest perform such an act, but lacks the assurance to do so herself. Davos quickly gives her the verbal kick in the pants she needs to create her own miracles. The men gather as Melisandre performs a ritual over Jon’s body, but to no avail. Defeated, they all eventually leave the room. Ghost quietly sleeps nearby, but suddenly stirs as…

Wait for it…

Wait for it…

Jon gasps awake!

As the prayer of the Drowned God says, “What is dead may never die, but rises again, harder and stronger.”

Indeed.

 
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