by Germar Derron
I tend to not review a project, when I have nothing good to
say. I'm not worried about your reaction
to my reactions. I’m not concerned about
hurting someone’s feelings. It’s like
when you do those evaluations in school, and give teachers you love all fives
and teachers you hate all ones. Well,
the smart people that evaluate your evaluations know to completely disregard
the all-ones and all-fives. No one is
that bad, or that good, at anything, except for me and I'm not saying whether I’m
bad or good. So, when I have nothing
good to say, I feel like the project is obviously not for me; I abstain. I really really should not write this review.

If Anne-Simone goes on to have a stellar music career, this
album and music video will be digitally dusted off by a late night host. She'll blush and tell stories about how inexperienced she was.
Each track sounds generic--every kind of generic. They sound like electro-pop and indie-pop demos on a Yamaha keyboard from 2023 (because those demos are always 20 years old). It reminds me of the fuzzy familiarity of K-pop. It sounds familiar, but then you realize it's not English, but you know the melody anyway. It's like that, but not nearly as good, and in English.
When I listen to anything pre-1980, I cannot ignore all the pitch
problems. Some of those Motown
orchestras sounded like nails on chalkboards and cats in heat. Almost all of the
vocals were just close enough apparently. Somehow, those tuning issues, sharp low notes, and flat high notes
seem purposeful, and charming. But this isn't the 60s. This is pen tools and Auto-tune, note
detection and unlimited tracks. I’m not
sure if the “pitchiness” is purposeful, but it’s not delightful. It’s nothing like Michael’s slight
bends. It’s painful, and exaggerated in
the slower pieces.
I'll give this two of five stars, because I know why I shouldn't give it one.
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