by Ava Jaulin
Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images |
Eight viewers tuned in for the 49th Academy
of Country Music Awards, this past Sunday, on CBS. What’s that?
Apologies. A whopping 8.19
million viewers tuned in to a big ratings win for CBS, this past Sunday. The returning hosts included self-professed
routine drinker Blake Shelton, and his rump-shaking sidekick Luke Bryan. And
just so you know, I’m no country music hater. I knew the music, styles, and
quirks of each nominee before tuning in.
The CMAs radiate a celebratory atmosphere. The
viewer senses that this is a party, and that these people love a good party. In comparison, the Grammys seem more like a
memorial service. But better than the Grammys is a low bar, and the production
team could use some pointers.
Awards' shows keep routines - fine. But when the first award is presented an hour
in, the audience grows restless. The
musical performances rocked, but came in chunks as opposed to a smooth and even
spread. As for the comedy bits—including
digs at Britney Spears for lip-synching, and spousal inside jokes—there’s a
saying: “don’t quit your day job.”
It felt like they warmed-up last year’s leftovers,
sprinkled some Parmesan on it (everything tastes better with Parmesan), and served
it on a shinier tray. The winners list confirmed what magazines have printed
for years: there is an in-crowd, and the rest of us are welcome to watch from
afar. #sorrynotsorry
The night peaked with George Strait’s win for
Entertainer of the Year (his second in a row). Then, Strait announced his
eminent retirement. Pause. Is this why he beat out crowd favorite Luke Bryan? Or
Shelton, and his 11 straight #1 hits? Or
even people everyone knows, Miranda Lambert and Taylor Swift? Even if he remains, as Shelton put it, “our
hero,” Strait’s win left the younger viewers tweeting #smh.
Fortunately, the top nominated artists—at seven
awards each—included the 2014-relevant Tim McGraw and Lambert. The noticeably
slimmer (too far?), Lambert walked away with three awards including, Female
Vocalist of the Year, and Vocal Event of the Year for her collaboration with Keith
Urban. The win that satisfied fans most was Kacey Musgraves’ Album of the Year
for “Same Trailer Different Park.” Her
song, “Merry Go ‘Round” plays five billion times per minute, according to extensive
Look to the Cookie research. McGraw
won Video of the Year for "Highway Don't Care," featuring Swift and
Urban.
Surprising duets dominated the year. Shelton and, country newbie, Shakira performed
their addictive single, "Medicine." Faith Hill and McGraw reminded us—ad nauseum—that
they’re still happily married with "Meanwhile Back at Mama's.” Dierks
Bentley and Sheryl Crow took to
the stage to perform the foot tapping, "I
Hold on,” followed by Florida Georgia Line and Bryan’s “This is How We Roll.”
Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images |
Most importantly, who wore what? The best dressed award went to Lambert for both
a crystal-adorned, plunging Randi Rahm gown, and an on-point jean shirt, sequined
pencil-skirt combo. Faith Hill finally realized that age appropriate doesn’t mean
boring. She wore a powder blue full-length
vintage gown. Kellie Pickler took bronze with her lavender Romona Keveza gown,
with a sequined belt. Honorable mentions
go to red chiffon wearer Cassadee Pope and—mandatory mention—Taylor Swift. Swift continued her high fashion streak in a
skin-bearing J. Mendel combo accentuated by her new short ‘do.
And here are the “Fashion Razzies.” The first award
goes to Caroline Bryan for mixing sheer pleats with coral floral - in one dress
(gasp). The second award goes to Shakira for finding the only appalling Zuhair
Murad dress (a near blasphemous statement) in existence. The final award goes
to Hillary Scott for forgetting that she’s going to an award show, and not a
club opening. Honorable mentions go to Jamie Lynn Spears (yes, she's back-ish) and
her Magic Eye-inspired mini, Karen Fairchild for the strapless sheath (whose
idea was that?), and Frankie Ballard for the cobalt suit by Manuel.
Here’s to another year of jamming to country’s best,
and looking forward to next year’s CMAs.
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