Saturday, July 24, 2021

Power Rankings: the "Purge-verse"

 You love lists, and Look to the Cookie doesn't do enough of them. So here are the rankings and reasons for the secretly progressive, political, and predictive "Purge-verse."TM  Podcast coming soon.

5. The Purge: Anarchy 5.0/10 Why call the second film something as far-reaching as "anarchy," if you think you'll make more films? But apparently, in Purge-verse, anarchy means: 1) "we have a big action star" (Frank Grillo), and 2) "though this movie has zero heart, we're trying!"


4. The Purge: Election Year 6.5/10 If Linda--from Gia--is in it, I'm watching. They really wanted the politics to matter here and they wanted to give Grillo another shot. Choose one.

3. The Purge 6.7/10 How big was that house that they never knew where anyone was? They didn't run into the daughter for the entire movie. (she didn't even know what was going on) Why did the bad guys cut the power? Oh, because we needed it to be dark and creepy. Cool.

Photo: Universal Pictures

2. The First Purge 6.7/10
The good guys won! But not in this movie. Oh, the irony. First, the Black drug dealers were attacked by government hired mercenaries who were there to promulgate the falsehood of black and brown people as murderous miscreants. Then, the B&B rid their neighborhood of the evil white devil cockroaches, and also proved their capacity for violence and jumpstarted the forever purge . . . .

©Universal/Courtesy Everett Col

1. The Forever Purge 7.0/10 The movie where it was made crystal clear that the purge is already happening in today's U.S.A. On one side, we saw Spanish-speaking, border-crossing Mexicans working hard for the smallest piece of pie. On the other side, we watched entitled white southerners yell "purify" and "full-blooded American." Predictable, but almost potent.


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