Posts
Below you can read the uncensored, totally true, text-diary of today's Fourth of July tomfoolery. To be fair, this was a grand opening. But - but . . . . Single-man, family-less, quasi-friendless holidays are already the worst--then this happens. And yes, I have a couple of invites, but I'm wiped out.
No, I did nothing to deserve this. And yes, "Ex #11" enjoys these text-diary deliveries.
Me
12:45 So I did decided to try this new soul food place - kinda busy, but not too bad
12:57 Friend from work here. I sat with him
12:57 He's done
12:57 Said it was really good
12:58 They're already out of almost everything
12:58 I've been here for 15 mins and no one has taken my order
12:58 That kinda black music you like is blasting, Y'know, the song came out last year but it only plays on oldies stations.
12:59 It's like a family thing so a bunch a Lil kids out here dunno what's going on. Tryna serve.
1:01 Almost all white people here
1:04 Still haven't taken my order
1:04 I haven't eaten today
1:04 Headache
1:07 In over his head teen boy took my order after "momma" yelled at him
1:07 Grandma just came out the kitchen to snap on some white folk
1:08 Another black lady commiserating wit meh
1:11 Gospel blasting . . . Scripture all over the wall
1:13 I got watermelon kool-aid - maybe
1:13 Lil girl here looks like slightly older version of your daughter - toothpick
1:14 Cash only but they ain't post it or tell anyone
1:14 It's an unsurprising disaster
1:14 She's actually much older
1:15 I can't call it; black don't crack
1:15 Lotta kids just standing around (workers?)
1:17 A dude just paid - no tax or tip - maybe later?
1:20 10 minute wait on chicken
1:20 More mature [your daughter] just talked to me
1:21 They even have the same teeth
1:33 They never brought my drink
1:34 They just brought two legs
1:34 He promised a breast-wing quarter
1:34 I have no food still
1:34 And I told them bring the other food, I'll wait on chicken
1:35 They did not
1:35 Then they bring an ounce of mac and two legs
1:36 She is younger but the most helpful
1:38 Lady behind me has the same complaints
1:38 She got a leg
1:39 Playing old Kirk Franklin albums now
1:40 They don't refill drinks
1:41 Ate my dessert
1:41 Strawberry shortcake; it was horrible
1:42 dry, store bought, few strawberries, and a Lil whip cream
1:42 There's only been four or five tables here the entire time
1:43 800 kids just came in through the back door
1:43 I still have no drink
1:44 I'm jittery
1:45 I think I might die here
1:45 I convinced myself to support black owned
1:45 We always regret it don't we
1:45 They ran out of everything . . . again
1:45 I think this tattooed brunette is checking me out
1:45 I caught her
1:46 Now she's making sure not to look at me
1:46 People just got here now have their food
1:46 I've been here over an hour
1:47 Black ladies say tea not sweet.. Tastes like water
1:48 I just heard them yelling in the back about my fried chicken
Ex #11
1:49 Omg
1:49 That's horrible
Me
1:49 Nobody's order is right and they didn't like the food
1:49 The white people seem to like it
1:50 I've been here over an hour and everybody eating but me
1:50 Uh oh . . . take out orders wrong
Ex #11
1:50 It's always a crapshoot going to a soul food restaurant. And black folks just can't get right.
Me
1:50 Still no drink
Ex #11
1:51 This gonna be a FB story?
Me
1:51 I'm just writing to publish this later.
1:51 Ltc
1:51 Putting something this long on FB?
1:51 Maybe tumblr
1:52 The kids are now doing a dance routine in the front
1:52 So hard for me not to leave
1:52 I was pulling for [this place]. Now I want them to fail.
1:53 She actually asked the last table for tips. It was so weird
1:53 Lady just came out of the kitchen and yelled that they don't have breasts; I guess that was meant for me.
1:54 They're dancing down the aisle to gospel.
1:55 I'm getting sick now.
1:55 I think I have to go.
1:56 The dude that messed up my order is eating in the back.
1:59 I left
2:00 I won't go back
2:08 I'm at Outback
2:10 The waitress here is mad that I'm here
2:11 She's crying. I don't know why.
2:11 But again I'm trying to be cool.
2:12 I think maybe she's mad that she's getting tables or maybe tables of one but she's having a complete breakdown.
2:12 She can't even talk
2:12 Could not get her name out
2:14 I still don't have a drink
2:16 She's having a complete meltdown
2:16 WTF is going on today
2:17 Got some water and bread though
2:17 Bread is stone cold
Ex #11
2:18 Jesus Germar
Me
2:47 Full. Had a burger and Coke. Feeling better. She kinda apologized and said she's not charging me for the Coke.
2:48 She apologized thrice. Apparently she was just overwhelmed. Thanked me for my patience.
Ex #11
3:25 Glad you got some food in ya.
Me
3:26 And she gave me a Coke for the road. I gave her a $5 tip on a $10 meal.
6:30 Don't text me. Writing Story.
7:05 Done.
0 comments:
Post a Comment