Monday, September 25, 2017

Power Rankings: Current Live Action DC and Marvel Superheroes (Vol. 2)

You love lists and Look to the Cookie doesn't do enough of them. This began as a way to highlight all DC and Marvel superheroes that are racial minorities, in current live-action productions (already aired or premiered, character living). We've expanded that list to include all superheroes, in a power rankings format. 

To determine the rankings of the biggest characters, in these rival companies, we rated them based on: 1) Portrayal (actor's performance, how well written, how well directed); 2) Power (invulnerability trumps gadgets which trumps black belt in taekwondo); Percentage (time on screen, starring roles, production named for character). Each category received a number rating from 0-10. A perfect overall score would equal 30.

Generally, here, a superhero is someone who: 1) does good deeds; and 2) has a superpower, access to gadgets unavailable to the general public, or has fighting skill above that of top real-world martial artists.

Though this list is purposed for entertainment, it is also a microcosm of our current (ongoing) class and racial divide--and the disagreement over that divide. First, of all the characters, women are only about 30% of the list, not 50%. Minorities make up about 33% of this list, which is a perfect representation of our country. But, as the list climbs, it becomes more white and more masculine. Even though people of color exist in optimal numbers, they don't exist in optimal positions. If not for Luke Cage . . . . Well, just read the list.

Oh, and Rocket Raccoon is not a superhero, or a raccoon apparently.


(FIND VOL. 1 HERE)

The Diverse Middle-Class Neighborhood

51. Dinah Drake - Portrayal: 6.3  Power: 6.4  Percentage: 6 (18.7)
And on the fifth attempt, God created Sexy Canary and the church said, "AMEN!"

50. Superman (DCTV) - Portrayal: 8  Power: 9  Percentage: 2 (19)
You got beat by a girl!

49. Rip Hunter - Portrayal: 7  Power: 5  Percentage: 7 (19)
Secretly partnering with Flash to destroy lives since the beginning of this timeline.

48. Cyclops - Portrayal: 5  Power: 7  Percentage: 7 (19)
Is Cyclops III: 1) related to the other Cyclopsis, or 2) related to Havok, or 3) interesting? Choose one.

47. Black Widow - Portrayal: 8.8  Power: 4  Percentage: 6.6 (19.4)
Is she still Russian? And no that is not code for something sexual.

46. Mystique - Portrayal: 7  Power: 5.6  Percentage: 7 (19.6)
Academy Award-winning actor out-acted by a fashion model . . . .

45. Speedy - Portrayal: 9  Power: 3.9  Percentage: 7 (19.9)
Still the best thing about this show . . . and my dreams.

44. Ptonomy Wallace - Portrayal: 8  Power: 6.2  Percentage: 5.5 (19.7)
Captain Cool. 

43. [Commander or Citizen] Steel - Portrayal: 6  Power: 7  Percentage: 7 (20)
Commander Clingy.

42. Mantis - Portrayal: 8.3  Power: 5.9  Percentage: 6  (20.2)
She definitely put me to sleep.

41. Jean Grey - Portrayal: 5  Power: 8.9  Percentage: 7 (20.8)
Queen of X-steros.

40. Daredevil - Portrayal: 7  Power: 3.9  Percentage: 10 (20.9)
"Father forgive me for I have sinned. Wait, do you really not have to tell the cops anything?"

39. Storm - Portrayal: 6  Power: 8  Percentage: 7 (21)
More like a natural disaster.
38. Constantine - Portrayal: 7  Power: 7  Percentage: 7  (21)
Dr. Bro, Sexy Sorcerer

37. Green Arrow - Portrayal: 7  Power: 4  Percentage: 10 (21)
"I'm Batman."

36. Firestorm - Portrayal: 7  Power: 7  Percentage: 7 (21)
Eb-o-ny and i-vo-ry live together in per-fect har-mo-ny.

35. Vixen - Portrayal: 8  Power: 6.5  Percentage: 6.7 (21.2)
"I run as fast as a cheetah . . . and there goes Flash, and Kid Flash, and Zoom, and Jay, and Jesse Quick . . . ." "I'm as strong as a bear . . . ."

34. Atom - Portrayal: 6.6 Power: 7.7 Percentage: (21.3)
'Member when you faked your death because you caught girl your girl doing Green Arrow? 'Member that? No, we don't talk about that.

33. Drax - Portrayal: 8  Power: 7.5  Percentage: 6 (21.5) 
Strong green person #4.

32. Agent Coulson - Portrayal: 10  Power: 2.5  Percentage: 9.2 (21.7) 
"Sssssoooo I can't hang with the Avengers anymore huh? Cool. NO, really it's cool. I've been really really busy. But if they need like a tactical strategic mastermind who avoids destroying cities, maybe call Phil."

31. Negasonic Teenage Warhead - Portrayal: 10  Power: 7  Percentage: 5 (22)
*snark* *explosion*

30. Iron Fist Portrayal: 4.9  Power: 7.1  Percentage: 10 (22)
"I am the Immortal Iro-" SHUT UP ALREADY! "Protector of-" NOTHING. YOU FAILED. YOU PROTECT NOTHING. [insert talented Asian actor here]

29. Syd Barrett Portrayal: 8  Power: 5  Percentage: 9 (22)
You know that when you use your power, everyone looks at you naked first right? Just sayin'.

28. Sif Portrayal: 8.9  Power: 8  Percentage: 5.5 (22.4)
Almost Wonder Woman.

27. Vibe - Portrayal: 8  Power: 6.5  Percentage: 8 (22.5)
Super nerd.

26. Scarlet Witch - Portrayal: 8  Power: 8.7  Percentage: 5.9 (22.6)
Robot f--ker.
COME BACK FOR VOL. 3
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